I am not

I am not a writer.  I’m not disciplined enough to sit down and force myself to put something out.  The urge has to strike me.  Sometimes it hits at inconvenient times, like when I’m in the shower.  By the time I get done and can sit down to write, my inspiration is gone and I don’t remember what it was I wanted to write about in the first place.

I am not someone’s mother.  After I was diagnosed and treated for cervical cancer, I seriously considered adoption.  But my husband was never entirely comfortable with the idea, and I kept giving it time, hoping he would come around.  Only I waited too long, I think.  I’m nearing 40, and he’ll be 45 next month.  Who wants to be 60 when their kid graduates from high school?  I just don’t see it happening at this point.

I am not an employee.  This is by choice.  After I came back from Australia in November 2010, I gave notice at my job.  The husband was already in North Carolina working at this point, and I needed to be able to concentrate on the details of getting our house on the market and arranging movers.  Then, after we got settled in North Carolina, I still didn’t get a job.  We didn’t know where the next division was being built, so I didn’t think it wise to start a job, only to have to quit in a few months when we ended up moving closer to where the facility would be built.  But we didn’t stay in North Carolina.  Instead, they promoted my husband and we moved to southwest Mississippi.  And just when I thought that perhaps our moving days were done, he got promoted to a larger division than the one that brought us to Mississippi in the first place.  Which meant moving again.  Currently, I have not held a job in over 2 years.  Quite honestly, it doesn’t bother me all that much.

I am not a pet owner.  At least, not right now.  Just over two months ago, we had to have our fuzzy butt put to sleep due to age-related health issues.  I’m still getting used to the fact that he’s gone.  I know at some point, we’ll adopt another dog.  It just won’t happen for a while.

I am not a home owner.  This will be changing as soon as our house that we have under construction is finished.  I can’t wait to be in my own house again, instead of living in someone else’s poorly designed house with most of my possessions in boxes.

I am not into trends.  I prefer classic styles, be they in clothes, home design, or furniture.  Trendy things don’t stay trendy for long, so why invest in a look that will be dated in 6 months’ time?

I am not perfect.  I never will be.  Quite frankly, I can be a slob.  You should see my desk right now.  This particular quirk of mine drives my husband crazy.  I can also be a bitch.  I try not to let my bitchy tendencies control me, but sometimes I just can’t help myself.  I will not pretend to be anyone else.


5 thoughts on “I am not

  1. Sometimes when I think like this, I think it’s a form of self-torture. Then other times I think it’s just stating what I’m not so I’m not dishonest with myself. Then other times it can show me what I really want.

    I liked this.

    I still think you could have like a Bloggess/Pioneer Woman type site with how you know so much about moving and now with building a house!

    • I can’t even remember to update about the building process half the time! I average about an update a month. I swear, we get moved into that house, I may have one more move in me. And then I’m done with moving. Forever.

      • We usually get some time between moves. We lived in Ruston for nearly a year after we got married because I was going to grad school, then moved to southeast Missouri. We were there four and a half years. Moved to northwest Arkansas, lived there two and a half years. Moved to southeast Arkansas, lived there nearly four years. Then he changed companies and we moved to Texas. Lived there nearly two years before we moved to North Carolina. We were in NC for all of nine months, then we moved to Hattiesburg. Lived there until this past July, when we moved YET AGAIN. I swear, once we get in our house, I have one move left in me – for when he gets a position at the corporate office. Then back to Hattiesburg we will go. Once that happens, I’m done. I’m not moving ever again!

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