I’m on tv! (Well, my tweets are, at any rate.)

From Mountain Monsters: Uncaged, "Wampus Beast"

From Mountain Monsters: Uncaged, the “Wampus Beast” episode. (photo by me)

Also from the "Wampus Beast" episode.

Also from the “Wampus Beast” episode. (photo by me)

Last night was the premiere of the second season of Mountain Monsters on Destination America.  Prior to the premiere at 9 PM, Destination America was airing reworked episodes from the first season with additional footage, production notes, and viewer tweets.

We didn’t watch any of those episodes (being aired under the title Mountain Monsters: Uncaged) because we watched the original episodes when they aired last year.  Instead, we watched the network shows we always watch on Fridays: Hawaii Five-O and Blue Bloods.  We were dvr-ing the season premiere since it was on at the same time as Blue Bloods and I wasn’t going to miss Blue Bloods.

After Blue Bloods went off, we pulled up Mountain Monsters on the dvr and started watching.  Occasionally, I would tweet something about the episode, but mostly I was watching the action as the boys hunted for the Kentucky Hell Hound.  The episode was almost over when I started getting tweets asking me things like “how do you tweet on the show?” and “did you know your tweets are the only ones getting on tv?”  I thought maybe the premiere was being rebroadcast with viewer tweets or something, so when the Hell Hound episode ended, I told my husband about the comments I was getting.  We flipped the channel to Destination America just in time to see one of my tweets flash on the screen during an episode of Mountain Monsters: Uncaged.  I’m not sure which episode it was, but the tweet read: “These guys are country as a truckload of goats.”

Turns out, my tweets were popular with the Mountain Monsters folks.  Maybe because I tweet silly/funny comments for the most part, I don’t really know.  Or maybe because there weren’t many people watching it the first season, my tweets stood out?  I have no idea.  At any rate, I recorded three episodes of Uncaged that aired later that night (“Wampus Beast”, “Devil Dog”, and “Wolf Man”) and watched them this morning to see if any of my tweets made it on air.

The “Wampus Beast” episode featured two of my tweets, pictures of which are posted above.  I’ve got my dvr set to record episodes of Uncaged so I can see how many more of my tweets made it into the show.

I’ve got a feeling that more of my tweets could end up in future episodes of Uncaged, since the Mountain Monsters twitter account (@DesAmericaMM) favorited a handful of my tweets from last night.

My advice for those with aspirations to get a tweet aired?  First, keep it clean.  Tweets with foul language/curse words can’t be aired.  Second, make it relevant.  If you’ve had an experience with a weird creature, tweet it!  I know I saw at least one tweet from someone who said it was like seeing their childhood experience come to life.  Tweets about how much you enjoy the show are always good too.  I saw several of those during the three episodes I recorded.  Third, hashtag it.  The network follows the #MountainMonsters hashtag on Twitter.  If you want to better your chances of your tweet being seen, use the official hashtag for any tweets about the show.

I’ll be tweeting about Mountain Monsters again either next Friday night starting at 10 PM or Saturday afternoon.  To follow the insanity, follow me on Twitter at @courtney_bolton.


What is something that bugs you?

There’s no way I could name just one thing.  So here’s a list, in no particular order:

  • Stupid people.  Especially the ones who think they’re smart when they so are NOT.
  • Dogs running loose.  Because not everyone enjoys being chased/jumped on by your dog.  If you don’t have a fenced yard, why do you even have a dog?  I hate people who care so little about not only their dog, but other people.
  • Rude people.  This one is pretty much self-explanatory.
  • Idiotic product reviews that don’t address why you didn’t like the product.  Seriously, tell me what’s wrong with it.  Don’t post some stupid review that the item never showed up or was the wrong color or some such nonsense.  That’s seller feedback, not a product review.  Two totally different things.
  • Street maintenance workers who tear up a street intending to repave it, only instead they leave it torn up for months.  Meanwhile, the condition of the road is deteriorating.  The road in front of the public library in town has been torn up for months and it’s just getting worse.  No amount of complaining to the road maintenance people does any good, as the road is still a mess.
  • Anyone who can’t follow simple instructions.  I’ve quit a couple of different dry cleaners because they couldn’t seem to grasp the meaning of heavy starch.  When I tell you I want the items starched to the point where they will stand up on their own, don’t do light starch and think I’m not going to notice.  I will make you redo the items until they’re done right.  So you’re costing yourself money by not doing it right the first time.  Get your shit together, people.
  • People who resort to name-calling and acting like other people’s opinions are stupid just because they don’t agree with theirs.  And when you do it in a group that I maintain and you’re being snide to me with regards to comments I made?  You can bet your ass I’m going to call you out in front of everyone.  I don’t play that shit and I will not tolerate it.
  • Drivers who think that a lane closure doesn’t apply to them.  We’ve all experienced this.  You’re driving down the interstate and you see a sign that says “Right Lane Closed Ahead”.  So you get over into the left lane, because you don’t want to wait until the last minute.  Meanwhile, the other drivers in the right lane ignore this logic and continue on in the right lane like the lane closure doesn’t apply to them.  They wait until the last minute, then try to shoehorn their way into the left lane.  It’s freaking rude and impedes the flow of traffic.  If you can’t pay attention to the road and the traffic signs/signals, then you don’t need to be driving.  And stop cutting me off just because you weren’t paying attention to the four “Lane Closed Ahead” signs we passed!
  • Mail from organizations addressed to Mr. Courtney [My Last Name] instead of Mrs. or Ms.  If you don’t know the sex of the person you’re sending something to, err on the side of caution and don’t put a honorific on it.  It’s a minor thing, but it bugs me.  If you send me something addressing me as “Mister”, I’m going to chuck it in the trash.

These are a few of the things that bug me.  What are some of yours?

It’s snowing/sleeting! Shut everything down and go home.

Since the latest storm hit, I’ve been watching the effect it’s had on the South.  Folks from northern states don’t seem to understand why we weren’t prepared for this mess.  I’ll try to explain how a few inches of snow and ice can basically cripple the South, and shed some light on why you northern folks don’t understand what the big deal is and why we aren’t dealing very well with it.

This is my backyard.  All that white is nothing but ice.

This is my backyard. All that white is nothing but ice. [Photo by me]

First of all, we don’t know how to drive in the shit.  We don’t get that much practice.  Seriously, we get a snow or ice storm once in a blue moon.  That should be obvious by now.  Especially given the situation in cities like Atlanta over the last couple of days, with thousands of stranded motorists, students and teachers.  When I lived in Missouri for four years, we got 3 or 4 storms every winter.  Schools did not let out or cancel classes.  Businesses did not close early.  I never did learn to drive in the stuff, even though the area natives are whizzing along at 60 mph like it’s NO BIG DEAL.  I’m from Louisiana.  Up until then, I’d experienced maybe 3 or 4 snowstorms in my life.

Southern snow is different from northern snow.  Basically, what happens in the South is the first layer of snow turns into ice, which then gets covered with more snow.  This makes for very slippery driving conditions.  The roads turn into an ice rink of people trying to avoid playing bumper cars with each other.  Try to drive on snow in a Southern state the way you do up north and you will end up in a ditch.  I never gave it much thought until I moved from southeast Missouri to northwest Arkansas.  Then we had an ice storm and a customer (and former northern state resident) remarked that our snow was different from what he  was used to driving in during his years up north.  I can vouch for the truth in this.  Northern snow IS different from what we get in the South.  Don’t believe me?  Come down here and drive on our roads during a storm like this just like you would if you were in your home state.  When you end up wrecking your car or getting stranded, maybe then you’ll finally understand.

This is our driveway.  It's a sheet of solid ice an inch thick.  And we didn't get hammered as hard as the people to the south and east of us! [Photo by me]

This is our driveway. It’s a sheet of solid ice an inch thick. And we didn’t get hammered as hard as the people to the south and east of us! [Photo by me]

Every grocery store in town will be out of milk and bread because everyone has left home/work and gone out in the weather to get these items.  Southerners apparently hoard these things when the weather is snowy/icy, mainly because we frequently lose power during ice storms and have to resort to eating sandwiches or cereal for every meal until the power is restored.  When it snows, you may as well shut a Southern state down.  All the businesses, except the grocery stores and Wal-Mart, are going to close and everybody is going home, unless they need milk or bread.  Wal-Mart will be jam-packed with people, their dairy case will be empty (or nearly so) and the bread aisle will be decimated.

Southern states are never prepared for snow.  We don’t have those fancy spray rigs on the Highway department trucks that go around spraying liquid de-icer on the roads in the days prior to an anticipated storm.  If you’ve ever lived in Missouri, you know what I’m talking about.  Those folks are PREPARED.  We don’t have stockpiles of salt or sand to treat the roads with.  We’re lucky if we have those snow plow things on the front of the trucks.  When you get a bad storm once in a blue moon, you don’t have these things, so you end up being unprepared for the weather.

We don’t own snow boots.  Most Southerners have probably never seen snow chains or snow tires either.  However, a Southerner who has lived in a northern state will own an ice scraper and a can of liquid de-icer.  That same Southerner will also own windshield washer fluid specially formulated to help melt snow and ice.  Heck, we may even have a bag of rock salt to coat our sidewalks and driveway with to melt the ice.  Someone who has never lived outside the South won’t and isn’t prepared to deal with slippery walkways and porch steps.

We consider snow/ice an excellent reason to stay home from work, school, etc.  You northern folks probably consider this wussy, since you drive in the crap for several months every year.  Again, this goes back to us not knowing how to drive in the shit.

So please, before you criticize us for not being prepared, consider the statements above.  Just because you’re used to these sorts of conditions doesn’t mean we are.  Have a little empathy for those of us who are dealing with the atrocious weather conditions in the South right now.

Trust me when I say we don’t envy you having to deal with these types of conditions for months on end every single year.  That’s one of the reasons why we live in the South, so we don’t have to deal with snow and ice.  The trade off is that we get to deal with horrendous heat and humidity every summer.  Northern attempts to horn in on this will be scoffed at because until you’ve lived in the South, you don’t have a clue what real heat and humidity are.

So I’ll make you a deal.  Stop laughing at us for our pitiful attempts to deal with the snow and ice, and we’ll stop making fun of y’all whining about how 90° is hot.

Books read in 2013

Once again, it’s time to share the books I read this year.  I read 85 books this year.  My original goal was 70.  What goal should I set for 2014?

  • Silent Prey – John Sandford
  • Winter Prey – John Sandford
  • It Looked Different On the Model: Epic Tales of Impending Shame and Infamy – Laurie Notaro
  • Bones are Forever – Kathy Reichs
  • A Dance With Dragons – George R. R. Martin
  • Pronto – Elmore Leonard
  • Hidden – P. C. Cast + Kristin Cast
  • Leverage: The Con Job – Matt Forbeck
  • Ransom – Julie Garwood
  • Not My Daughter – Barbara Delinsky
  • Riding the Rap – Elmore Leonard
  • Shadow Music – Julie Garwood
  • Raylan – Elmore  Leonard
  • Slow Burn – Julie Garwood
  • Night Prey – John Sandford
  • Tuesdays With Morrie – Mitch Albom
  • American Sniper: The Autobiography of the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S. Military History – Chris Kyle
  • Fatal Friends, Deadly Neighbors and Other True Cases (Crime Files #16) – Ann Rule
  • Mind Prey – John Sandford
  • Here I Go Again – Jen Lancaster
  • Supernatural: Rite of Passage – John Passarella
  • The Wettest County In the World – Matt Bondurant
  • Sudden Prey – John Sandford
  • Argo: How the CIA and Hollywood Pulled Off the Most Audacious Rescue in History – Antonio Mendez & Matt Baglio
  • SEAL Team Six: Memoirs of an Elite Navy SEAL Sniper – Howard E. Wasdin & Stephen Templin
  • The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food From My Frontier – Ree Drummond
  • Messenger: A Walt Longmire Story – Craig Johnson
  • John Doe – Tess Gerritsen
  • Dragon’s Oath – P.C. Cast
  • Leverage: The Zoo Job – Keith R. A. DeCandido
  • On the Street Where You Live – Mary Higgins Clark
  • A Dangerous Inheritance – Alison Weir
  • Nothing Like It in the World – Stephen E. Ambrose
  • Secret Prey – John Sandford
  • The Potty Mouth at the Table – Laurie Notaro
  • The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I’m Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog – Jen Lancaster
  • Supernatural: Fresh Meat – Alice Henderson
  • Hemlock Grove – Brian McGreevey
  • I’m a Good Dog: Pit Bulls, America’s Most Beautiful (and Misunderstood) Pet – Ken Foster
  • New York City for Dummies – Myka Carroll
  • Certain Prey – John Sandford
  • Deadlocked – Charlaine Harris
  • Leverage: The Bestseller Job – Greg Cox
  • The Sisters Montclair – Cathy Holton
  • Step-by-Step Home Design & Decorating – Clare Steel
  • Supernatural: Carved in Flesh – Tim Waggoner
  • Bones in Her Pocket: A Temperance Brennan Short Story – Kathy Reichs
  • Germany for Dummies, 4th edition – Donald Olsen
  • Divorce Horse: A Walt Longmire Story – Craig Johnson
  • Christmas in Absaroka County – Craig Johnson
  • 212 – Alafair Burke
  • The Bestseller – Olivia Goldsmith
  • Easy Prey – John Sandford
  • Wedding Night – Sophia Kinsella
  • Dead Ever After – Charlaine Harris
  • The Mystery of Mercy Close – Marian Keyes
  • Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns – Lauren Weisberger
  • The Lady of the Rivers – Philippa Gregory
  • Window Treatments Idea Book – Sue Sampson
  • The Kingmaker’s Daughter – Philippa Gregory
  • Crazy Little Thing – Tracy Brogan
  • Hell Is Empty – Craig Johnson
  • Curb Appeal Idea Book – Mary Ellen Polson
  • As The Crow Flies – Craig Johnson
  • The Gift of Fear – Gavin de Becker
  • New Kids on the Block: Five Brothers and a Million Sisters – Nikki Van Noy
  • Chosen Prey – John Sandford
  • A Desirable Residence – Madeleine Wickham
  • Mortal Prey – John Sandford
  • Whisper Lake – James Melzer
  • The White Princess – Philippa Gregory
  • Light of the World – James Lee Burke
  • Inferno – Dan Brown
  • Infamous – Joan Collins
  • Storm Front – Richard Castle
  • Notorious Nineteen – Janet Evanovich
  • Frozen Heat – Richard Castle
  • Summerland – Elin Hilderbrand
  • Firefly Lane – Kristin Hannah
  • Silver Girl – Elin Hilderbrand
  • Maine – J. Courtney Sullivan
  • Heart of the Matter – Emily Giffin
  • Fly Away – Kristin Hannah
  • Where We Belong – Emily Giffin